DAY TWO AND ALL'S WELL!!!

NaNo day two and I will cross the 6k mark before I head to bed (OR ELSE!!!!!). I'm such a slave driver. It's good though. I know there will be moments that it will be like pulling teeth to get through 500. I've just got to rememeber Dorie in Finding Nemo. "Just keep writing. Just keep writing. Just keep writing, writing, writing." Or something like that.
Today's Excerpt:

She ripped them in half lengthwise. She wanted to savor it.

“Take that, Asshole.” Rip.

“Even if you can get the money back.” Rip.

“See of you can get one of your homeboys.” Rip.

“To sit through this garbage with you.” Rip.

“Or maybe you can take your skinny little whore.” Rip.

“I’m sure she’d like that.” She had a strong desire to throw the ticket confetti on the floor, spit on it, and grind it into the floor with her foot. But this was her floor. There was no point making and even larger mess for her to clean up. And there was the fact that it was childish. She didn’t want to look childish in front of the gorgeous man she had saved. Victoria did her best to ignore the fact that she probably already did look about five years old.

“Sometimes there just aren’t enough trash cans or enough paper to rip or pictures to smash.”

“I have a fire pit at my house.”

She froze in her mashing the pieces between her palms and swiveled around on the balls of her feet. “Reeeaally?”




Random Quote: He likes the way I talk and I like the way he talks.

Yeah, Not So Much.

I thought about blogging so many times when I was nowhere near able to. Had lovely beginnings started in my head. Then the world of busy blew up. At least now that NaNoWriMo has started, I can just come on and post snippets. Not a great intro, but here we go:

She caught a glimpse of his wide-eyed expression as she headed for the kippered beef jar. He clearly wanted to ask.

“I got home earlier than I had planned to. A client no-showed.” She ripped a piece of beef and chewed it like it deserved much worse before swallowing. “I guess I should be glad she didn’t come, since I already got the money and I caught my lying, cheating my flaming, ass-ball of a bitch turd ex-boyfriend in my bed with another woman.”

Understanding dawned in his eyes and he relaxed a bit. She wanted to be offended at his reaction, but couldn’t find it in her. Even if a person had saved her, if they were acting as angry and erratic as she had been, she would be a little on edge. Scorned woman was a way to make sense of it. A little less scary than just simply crazy. She chewed on her almost reaction as she ate another piece of beef.

She waited until the meat and brown sugar hit her stomach to good effect before she tried to move forward. Angry was not the best way to encounter a griffin. Adding in the energy drain that came from shifting shapes several times in a short period was a dangerous prospect. She needed to eat something. The longer she waited, the less discriminate she became. He didn’t know just how close he just came to looking worse than her bedroom did.

Random Quote: HEEEEY YOOOOUUU GUUUYS!

New Goal

I'm setting myself up a new goal. I am going to blog at least once a week. I was doing so very well, then I decided to go back to school and all of my week night free time was eaten up. Then I had a couple (three) weekends that were completely full up stuff. Fun stuff, but a lot of stuff. Some highlights:

Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Conference.:

I find it hugely entertaining that through out the whole weekend, I only managed to take one picture. However, it is an fantastic picture. There was a shimmy war going on between the Mireyah (NAILED IT), then WE ATTACKED.

The next weekend the friend of one of my friends was filming an independant short film. She needed a PA. Suuuuree I can help. I even know what a PA does. (No I didn't, but I do now. Production Bitch, excuse me, ASSistant.) Filming started 7am on Saturday, 8am on Sunday an hour away from where I live. Ummm, Hello Sleep. Remember me? No? I'm sure we met before.........at somepoint.

Yeah.

On the plus side, I'll probably have another IMDB credit. I'm getting myself on the film industry radar, one small film at a time.

Let's see what else....I've seen dead people.
For massage school, we go to cadaver lab twice during each of our three anatomy classes. Two down, four to go. I've held someone's skull and had my finger in someone's carpal tunnel. Very odd moments in a person's life, I'll tell you what. You do have a realization of your own mortality. Naturally, it will all be stored in my head for a later story.

Also, HALLOWEEN APPROACH-ITH!

Random Quote: I'm the pious guy the little Amletts want to be like on my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife

Wooooow With The Busy

So my life plus massage therapy school equals busy like the wolf. Learning lots. Getting massages a lot. Knees are hurting a lot. (Kinda hate horse and archer stances.) Really can't wait until my legs get strong enough to not hurt through the 50 minutes of massaging. And then I have to make it through five 50 minute massages in a row for clinic. YAY.

Random Quote: Is it dead?

Oh, What A Day Is Today

Nothing can stand in my way.
I play the guitar, but not very well
Still I recorded myself

The above was set to the melody of "Oh, What a Day" by Ingrid Michaelson, which I and playing (badly) and singing in the below video.

Random Quote: She got a light skinned friend look like Michael Jackson. Got a dark skinned friend look like Michael Jackson

Literary Agent No-No's

I am not a literary agent (though wouldn't that be the bestest, most awesomest job ever?), but I listen and observe very well. It’s the scientist in me. I this instance picture me as the Jane Goodall of literary agency, in a high-tech, non-ape way. Here is what I have gathered as the most common per peeves that Literary Agents have. I'm sure any literary agents that read this would agree.

I would  think these are common sense, but I would also think that people wouldn’t name their children Abcde (pronounced absidee) or Odor Pillow. (Yes, those are real names and yes, I am losing my faith in the intelligence of man. Idiocracy, here we come!)

Anyway, here is my list of nine No-no’s when it comes to interacting with literary agents. It’s nine because I like square numbers better than round ones. (NERD!):

!) Do not chase the agent into the bathroom with your manuscript. They’re only thinking about one thing in the bathroom. No matter how good your writing may be, the agent will only ever associate your book with the one or two things.

2) Do not pitch or query an unwritten book. It might be a shock to hear but the agent cannot sell a book that is not written. No matter how amazing it sounds. Frankly, the fact that you have things worked out to the last stitch on the sidekick’s wardrobe figured out, but have nothing written is a bit of a red flag. Either the concept isn’t really as fantastic as you seem to think it is, or you aren’t a good enough writer to knock it out. Neither is helpful nor desirable.

3) Agents doesn’t not like not bad grammar. You might be thinking, what in the crap did she just say. My only answer: Exactly.

4) Spalling wel is inportint two. Know won wil reed yor buk if thay cant’ figer owt wat your tawking abowt. Werds ar you’re tules. Bee sharpe. Yew cant so with a dul needel. (That was really rough, and I’m not the world’s greatest speller.)

5) Punctuality is a virtue. It’s like they say: To be absent will get you smacked. To be tardy is annoying. To be on time is human. To be early is divine.

6) To whom it may concern, I didn’t care enough to learn your name or if you even represent the type of book I wrote, but please make my publishing dreams come true.

7) YOU DO NOT KNOW MORE THANK THE AGENT

8) Finding the number of the agent that rejected you and calling them is not impressive. It is about as desirable as a stalker creeping (stealthily) five feet behind you.

9) Agents are people too. Scary people with the power to control YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE, but people nonetheless. Frankie say RELAX. If you are at a conference outside of pitching times, DO NOT PITCH  YOUR BOOK TO THEM. (Do I need to re-iterate the bathroom example?) It’s obnoxious and less memorable than if you engage them in conversation and make them laugh.

Random Quote: A change of scenery is always nice, even if it’s only auditory.

Oh, The Places I Wish I Could Go

Today I decided on a list of things I would rather be doing/places I would rather be than at work. SIGH. There are days I wish I would be independently wealthy. Other times I just wish I was famous enough to make writing my full time career. I think I can get there. I just need to find the thing. The Sparkly Vampire/School for Wizards thing.

Of course, then there’s the pressure of if you can recreate the magic with something else. Some people can. Other’s not so much. Though that raises the question of whether it is better to be a one hit wonder, or to be a smaller success with an underground following that is devoted near to the point of stalking. I might want a stalker. Hmmmm…

While I’m thinking on the pros and cons of stalkery (stalkitude?) Here is my list.

Home, in bed.

On a massage table.

Lying on a beach, listening to the waves break

Home, reading a book.

On the deck ot a cruise ship, rolling with the waves

Parasailing. There are days I just want to be a kite.

Home, writing a book.

Driving into the mountains. So pretty.

Filming a movie

Home, watching TV. (You are…..not the father.)

In a bookstore. DANGEROUS!

Swimming.

Home. There’s no place like it.

Random Quote: I’ve got two tickets to paradise.